Don't Ever Let Them See You Sweat
From my own experience, I've found it just doesn't work to share, deeply share, your own personal problems with the people who work for you. Although I would encourage you to not think of (and certainly not treat) employees as children, there are instances when the relationship has it's similarities. This is one.
Employees who work for you (whether they like you or not), elevate you in their minds to a higher level. They expect more from you and they also assume you do not have the same problems. They think you are rich, happy and have it made. AND, they want to keep it that way. They become very uncomfortable when you share your personal life with them. This is true even if you have known them for years or if you have been a peer in your former work life.
I'm not sure I can accurately analyze the whys of this but it appears to me to be the classic child/parent relationship thought process. Remember when you thought your parent could do no wrong and knew everything. Often our employees have that mental relationship with their boss(s).
BUT (there is always a "but" in these stories it seems), it does not breach the relationship to show you are sorry, admit if you have made a mistake, or to show you care about the employee. In other words, showing a measure of your emotions TOWARDS the employee's situation is welcome. You should beware of showing that measure of your emotions to your employees concerning your own issues. To show your feelings towards an employee's concerns shows you are a caring employer. To show your feelings about your own concerns is perceived as being weak. I'm not saying all this is how it should be; I'm saying it is typical.
Occasionally, a person who works for you will not be hindered by this relationship issue. They may be more perceptive of your life as just another human; although a Christian human. They can be a true blessing in our work place but other than a very heart felt "thank you", I still caution you to be private with your own emotions. A show of concern towards you, a very thankful reply but don't pour out your heart or unload. It heaps a burdeon on this kind person.
Remember the old song, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus"? When you find you need to unload, pick your best friend, Jesus, and pour it all out to Him. Gather, call, or write your Christian friends and family. Even if your knees are buckled by a problem, use it to fall on them and open your heart in prayer.
You do not need to worry about the relationship taboos with your Friend, Jesus. John 15: 14-15 "Ye are my friends, if you do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants, for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." And He Blesses!
Employees who work for you (whether they like you or not), elevate you in their minds to a higher level. They expect more from you and they also assume you do not have the same problems. They think you are rich, happy and have it made. AND, they want to keep it that way. They become very uncomfortable when you share your personal life with them. This is true even if you have known them for years or if you have been a peer in your former work life.
I'm not sure I can accurately analyze the whys of this but it appears to me to be the classic child/parent relationship thought process. Remember when you thought your parent could do no wrong and knew everything. Often our employees have that mental relationship with their boss(s).
BUT (there is always a "but" in these stories it seems), it does not breach the relationship to show you are sorry, admit if you have made a mistake, or to show you care about the employee. In other words, showing a measure of your emotions TOWARDS the employee's situation is welcome. You should beware of showing that measure of your emotions to your employees concerning your own issues. To show your feelings towards an employee's concerns shows you are a caring employer. To show your feelings about your own concerns is perceived as being weak. I'm not saying all this is how it should be; I'm saying it is typical.
Occasionally, a person who works for you will not be hindered by this relationship issue. They may be more perceptive of your life as just another human; although a Christian human. They can be a true blessing in our work place but other than a very heart felt "thank you", I still caution you to be private with your own emotions. A show of concern towards you, a very thankful reply but don't pour out your heart or unload. It heaps a burdeon on this kind person.
Remember the old song, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus"? When you find you need to unload, pick your best friend, Jesus, and pour it all out to Him. Gather, call, or write your Christian friends and family. Even if your knees are buckled by a problem, use it to fall on them and open your heart in prayer.
You do not need to worry about the relationship taboos with your Friend, Jesus. John 15: 14-15 "Ye are my friends, if you do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants, for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." And He Blesses!
posted by Diane Gibson at
8:36 AM
