Working Mothers

There is no harder job than a mother who works outside the home in addition to her other responsibilities. Whether married or single, it is just plain, hard work. Although I could list two-zillion reasons, I think the hardest is the balancing where you dedicate your time. Then realizing that no matter how you divide your time you will feel you are short changing someone or something. Notice I didn’t say you WERE shortchanging anything, I said you will FEEL like you are short changing something or someone.

Again, I won’t go into whether you should or should not be working if you are a mother. Besides being none of my business, you have made the decision based on your own circumstances. Hopefully, you have prayed about it and understand God’s desire for your life. If married, hopefully, you have the support, help and love of your husband. There were times in my life when I enjoyed working while being a mother. I know there were times if I hadn’t worked my kids wouldn’t have had anything to eat. Then, there are times when I would have loved to devote more time to my family and home. There were times when I knew God had placed me in the work situation and didn’t want me to leave until His work was finished for me there. Not only is there no one answer to should women work, those reasons shift at different times in our lives.

If your children are young, the whole baby sitter thing is a huge issue. (I think I just heard thousands of women say, “Tell me about it!) If you have a trusted relative who enjoys watching your children - go for it. I was truly blessed last year to have one of my grandchildren come to my house after school. It allowed me to know her so much better than if we hadn’t been given this time. Grandparents will usually take your children if they are sick. When I first started working, no employer was nice about letting you stay home with sick children. They had the attitude, “If you want to be in the workplace, you better pretend you don’t have any home responsibilities.” It was an ugly time for the working mother; one that hasn’t totally disappeared.

Having child care facilities tied to your place of employment is one of those huge benefits you may not realize until you have children. If you are in a position to interview at such a place, place it high on your benefits’ list even if you don’t presently have children.

The best way to find out the best child care places is asking other women. In small towns, we have church-sponsored child care facilities and even at the for-profit agencies, you know everyone and if they are responsible. The church is another great place to find out who is good at watching children and whom you should avoid. If you cannot find any good responsible child care, I urge you to try to stay home with the children. Some places let mothers “flex time” to allow mothers and fathers to share child care hours. Often, part time work does not fit the hours you need care in your home but it is still worth investigating.

As a supervisor, I urge you to make your place of business “mother friendly.” You cannot give mothers preferential treatment but you can allow them to care for their children as God intended. When their child calls on the phone to check in or to ask permission, do you consider it a distraction? Or, are you secure that a woman who knows her children is safe is a better worker because she is able to concentrate on her work? Are you understanding when they must suddenly leave because their child is in an emergency or suddenly got sick? Have you made a plan on how these things should work including how they tell you, how the wrap up their duties, and how often is acceptable? Your rules for mothers must be fair to everyone and they must not be abused. To be fair to the mother, you must not assume she will abuse it just to have free time off work. Most women would rather play pitch with cow pies than have the pain of something bad happening to their children.

I have found working mothers are usually the ones that pull the work force together because they have the organizational skills and a world of common sense. They are the ones that think about the other person and how to handle situations. They are the ones who organize mentoring groups, employee clubs for families, laugh when you show up with two different colors of shoes, or say you don’t really smell like baby spit up. They are the ones who can organize your addresses and phone numbers because they’ve already done this for their family. Treated fairly, they will go above and beyond for their supervisor because it means so much to them. Treated fairly, work will not be one more hassle they must juggle. Treating working mothers with honor is no less demanded by God than how you treat your own mother. Ephesians 6:2-3 “Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”