Angry at the World
With the exception of some disabilities and injuries, uncontrollable anger is the product of immaturity. It has become a choice to let our instinct rule our intelligence. An example: A snake gets angry and strikes out when threatened. It is instinctual. The snake’s brain is about the size of a pea and they do not have human beings’ ability to reason. When a person allows their instinct to rule their emotions, they are no longer using the ability to reason. They are pretty much on the same level as the snake. This is an ugly comparison but accurate.
Another example is an infant denied their instant gratification. They throw this very loud tantrum because they do not have the maturity to reason out the situation. Some people are caught in this low level of maturity for handling their anger. Anything that doesn’t go the way they immediately desire, they throw a very loud tantrum. No wonder it has become so commonplace and accepted, we are surrounded by the idolization of the angry attitude on a daily basis. Watch a television program, a movie, the news, the schools, at work and at home. Anger will be the response to most every situation and it would be the outward expression of what someone believes is justifiable anger. It would be foisting anger on any and everyone. Listen to the script on the next show you watch - anger plays at least a major portion to the story line. Listen to songs, and the solution to life’s troubles is an angry response. Read the police reports in your paper, and domestic abuse is commonplace and at all ages. If I don’t get my way, I’ll get mad and someone is going to pay!
We live in a small rural community where we think big time anger isn’t a part of our world. To bring that thought into perspective, I’ll relay a Wal-mart story. The parking lot was crowded with lots of families and children walking. I was driving rather slowly in an effort to find a parking place without running over anyone. I found one and was ready to pull into the place when I realize I had pulled up a few inches too far to make a really easy turn into the spot. I put on the brake, put the car in reverse, looked in the rear view mirror and found a very large pick up was actually bumping my rear bumper. In addition, they were obviously shouting something less than kind. OK, I’m in your way and I’ll make that tight turn and get parked so as to let them move on their angry way. I got out of the car and was walking toward the store when I passed by this truck (who got a much closer parking place). The woman (I won’t use the word “lady”) rolled her window down and started screaming at me about how dare I try to back up and take their parking place. Huh? She went on screaming and I was so amazed I just stood there looking at her. Finally, when she took a breath, I apologized with “I’m really sorry to have upset you.” Well, that was apparently wrong and she started up again on me to the point she was talking about what she would do to me if she ever saw me again. I walked on into the store with wonder and sadness. My point in retelling this story is this couple had totally lost control of their ability to choose a mature behavior designed for the situation.
There are times when we all get angry at another’s behavior. Choosing to act out on that anger then becomes immaturity. Having an anger problem and not seeking professional help is also a choice. The reasons for being angry may be valid but failing to deal with them are not.
When you watch someone come unglued, it is sad. You realize they have let their anger take over their self control. They are demonstrating to the world their immaturity and failure to use reason.
Speculating on what is going on in the life of the other human being can defuse our anger. We have the most opportunity to do this while in our vehicles. Is it lack of attention because they have just received news their family member is terminal? Are they driving slowly because they no longer have quick responses and they want to make sure they don’t hurt anyone? Are they talking on the cell phone, eating french fries and putting on lipstick because they are young and clueless to the dangers? We all have human events in our lives and they sometimes make us drive less than perfect. The same can be said for all human frailties. We all have them and we should all be forgiving of the ones the other person displays.
Whether you have a short fuse, a long held grudge, or turn your mind off in angry situations, you need to get to the bottom of your anger issues. Talk to your clergy, mental health clinic, or a doctor. Find reading material designed for anger management. It may be a case where you need some help walking through your long held anger or your long held responses to stressful situations. It may be you simply need to step back whenever you feel yourself becoming angry. You may need to realize how you are perceived when you are angry. Do you really want people to be afraid of you and if so, why? Do you really want people to think of you as out-of-control or developmentally immature? Do you really want to lose chances for promotions, close relationships, or invitations?
Need strength to overcome immature responses? Need forgiveness for what your anger has done in the past? In addition to the help you seek from professionals, seek God’s advice: Proverbs 14:17 “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.”
Another example is an infant denied their instant gratification. They throw this very loud tantrum because they do not have the maturity to reason out the situation. Some people are caught in this low level of maturity for handling their anger. Anything that doesn’t go the way they immediately desire, they throw a very loud tantrum. No wonder it has become so commonplace and accepted, we are surrounded by the idolization of the angry attitude on a daily basis. Watch a television program, a movie, the news, the schools, at work and at home. Anger will be the response to most every situation and it would be the outward expression of what someone believes is justifiable anger. It would be foisting anger on any and everyone. Listen to the script on the next show you watch - anger plays at least a major portion to the story line. Listen to songs, and the solution to life’s troubles is an angry response. Read the police reports in your paper, and domestic abuse is commonplace and at all ages. If I don’t get my way, I’ll get mad and someone is going to pay!
We live in a small rural community where we think big time anger isn’t a part of our world. To bring that thought into perspective, I’ll relay a Wal-mart story. The parking lot was crowded with lots of families and children walking. I was driving rather slowly in an effort to find a parking place without running over anyone. I found one and was ready to pull into the place when I realize I had pulled up a few inches too far to make a really easy turn into the spot. I put on the brake, put the car in reverse, looked in the rear view mirror and found a very large pick up was actually bumping my rear bumper. In addition, they were obviously shouting something less than kind. OK, I’m in your way and I’ll make that tight turn and get parked so as to let them move on their angry way. I got out of the car and was walking toward the store when I passed by this truck (who got a much closer parking place). The woman (I won’t use the word “lady”) rolled her window down and started screaming at me about how dare I try to back up and take their parking place. Huh? She went on screaming and I was so amazed I just stood there looking at her. Finally, when she took a breath, I apologized with “I’m really sorry to have upset you.” Well, that was apparently wrong and she started up again on me to the point she was talking about what she would do to me if she ever saw me again. I walked on into the store with wonder and sadness. My point in retelling this story is this couple had totally lost control of their ability to choose a mature behavior designed for the situation.
There are times when we all get angry at another’s behavior. Choosing to act out on that anger then becomes immaturity. Having an anger problem and not seeking professional help is also a choice. The reasons for being angry may be valid but failing to deal with them are not.
When you watch someone come unglued, it is sad. You realize they have let their anger take over their self control. They are demonstrating to the world their immaturity and failure to use reason.
Speculating on what is going on in the life of the other human being can defuse our anger. We have the most opportunity to do this while in our vehicles. Is it lack of attention because they have just received news their family member is terminal? Are they driving slowly because they no longer have quick responses and they want to make sure they don’t hurt anyone? Are they talking on the cell phone, eating french fries and putting on lipstick because they are young and clueless to the dangers? We all have human events in our lives and they sometimes make us drive less than perfect. The same can be said for all human frailties. We all have them and we should all be forgiving of the ones the other person displays.
Whether you have a short fuse, a long held grudge, or turn your mind off in angry situations, you need to get to the bottom of your anger issues. Talk to your clergy, mental health clinic, or a doctor. Find reading material designed for anger management. It may be a case where you need some help walking through your long held anger or your long held responses to stressful situations. It may be you simply need to step back whenever you feel yourself becoming angry. You may need to realize how you are perceived when you are angry. Do you really want people to be afraid of you and if so, why? Do you really want people to think of you as out-of-control or developmentally immature? Do you really want to lose chances for promotions, close relationships, or invitations?
Need strength to overcome immature responses? Need forgiveness for what your anger has done in the past? In addition to the help you seek from professionals, seek God’s advice: Proverbs 14:17 “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.”
posted by Diane Gibson at
12:10 PM
